I know, there are many blogs, advice columns etc written about the New Year. ‘New Year, New You’, ’10 ways to make a New Year Resolution last beyond 2 January’, ‘How to make your New Year the most successful yet’...... you get the idea. Frankly, these always make me cringe; it’s as if the New Year is the only time I can plan ahead; the only time I can reflect on time gone by or decide what comes next. It’s not that I didn’t used to do this – I’m amongst the millions of people who’ve made those resolutions, even written them down and vowed to keep a diary to monitor my progress or told my nearest and dearest so they can hold me to account. But, after many years of ‘failing’ miserably to keep my grand plans (often made after a mulled wine or two), and feeling equally miserable about my lack of discipline, commitment etc, this year is DIFFERENT!!!
This year, I do have things I want to achieve. For example, I’m lucky enough to have been invited on a trip to Hong Kong with my partner and his children, so that’s definitely in the diary. And I’ll find a new subject to study – been doing this ever since I left school so it’s no longer on the ‘to do’ list, it just happens. And I have an exciting project combining my equestrian life and NLP skills brewing, so that will develop too. All of these will happen just when they’re meant to, and yes of course I’ll have to plan – tickets to HK don’t just book themselves!
However, I’m much more interested in what 2016 will LOOK like. OK, I’ll explain.
I noticed that when I think about this period of the year, it always comes with a feeling of foreboding; it’s dark, brooding, heavy, round, swirling grey and black colours and if it made a noise, it would be a low rumbling sound. I look at it as if seeing it through a long tube. I have no idea why this is the case, but I’m happy that it doesn’t really matter. I feel like I burst into the New Year with a feeling of having been holding my breath; feeling a bit disoriented and a tight feeling in my chest. Then I determinedly don’t look back, brightly focusing on the future and what’s to come.
Now, some of this feels OK – I love looking forward as you know, but I really feel the value of a view of what’s gone by too. Yes, it can be a bit uncomfortable, but I have no regrets, and there’s a whole lot of learning there too, so why wouldn’t I tap into this valuable source? However, I could do without the whole low rumbling, dark, swirling, bursting, holding breath thing!
So, here’s the thing. As I sit here writing this (and thank you for reading this far – not much more, so stay for the ride!), I’m imagining this ‘in between time’ as a time of softly swaying movement; it’s blue and warm and it’s like I’m on a lilo on the waves. Spending time recuperating, revitalising, recovering, gaining energy, saying thank you and preparing for whatever is to come; and it feels a lot healthier. Less pressure, more time to do what I need to do and a tickle of excitement about what might unfold.
And as for the New Year, it’s sort of yellow, soft and unfolding into possibilities. I can see shapes who I recognise to be my loved ones, I can hear beautiful music and I can see forms that I know will become clearer as the time is right which are the things I will achieve during the next year. I feel less anxious, very hopeful and optimistic..............And I’m still breathing!!
So, what does your New Year REALLY look like?